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Tuesday, June 6th, 2006
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10:05 pm
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| Tuesday, September 27th, 2005
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10:46 pm - FINALY!!!!
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| Sunday, September 25th, 2005
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12:56 am - no subject selected
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today wasnt so bad. i worked. my feet hurt.
right now i smell like smoke and that what happens when you go to a party.
i have one of those half smiles tonight. the kind where your trying to hold it back because you dont want to admit to your self your feeling better. mikey use to have the smirk on all the time. jerk.
last nights entry was about my heart; how it felt.
i realize ive changed and sometimes i think its good but others dont see the hurt i still suffer from.
im angery cuz i dont think i treat people as badly as i am treated. i always keep people informed and updated and want them to be around me. but sometimes i just think they dont want me around them.
its sucks that work keeps me from being who i really wanna be sometimes. i cant get involved or have experiences.
i have no one to really tell my secrets to anymore. it hard to feel free when you hold everything in.
current mood:  okay
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, September 24th, 2005
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1:52 am - A message to all - most wont see
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Today I want to be somewhere else and with other people. Today I felt alone and I felt sad. I felt bored and I felt tired of the same old things. I want to really feel life begin. I want to walk on water. Happy Birthday BTW. I need to get back some place.
You once said to me, being an asshole like you often are, you world chose him over me. Some friend you are. I feel like writing mean things to you but I care about you more then you care about me.
I wish you and I were better. We are not bad but I still wish we were better.
Will I ever stop hurting you?
Sometimes you are the only one I feel I connect with and I feel I trust but seriously now you need to break out of that damn good person things soon. Say somethings you shouldnt.
I have no complaints about you.
I miss you a lot. I seem to feel closest to you when we are far apart. Sorry I dont call more.
Your one of my better friends because you know who you are. I think you often degrade yourself from the real true potential you have.
Maybe I wouldnt want to ring your neck if you were more true. Sorry I see you fakeness. Sorry I see your flaws. I wish you were the real you.
I think of you everyday. Your my comparison.
I forgive you for the bad things. I wish now you could forgive yourself.
World domination is just within reach.
Stop caring about what people think. Fuck them. Youll go farther then everyone else.
Thanks for calling me. I hope your happy with everything. Dont forget us.
Beautiful.
current mood:  numb
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, August 21st, 2005
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3:16 am - A Poor Man - Welcome to the Real World
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God, I am an asshole. I hate being like this. I hate being so mean sometimes but I have just honestly become bitter. I am just angry at life, at god, my grandma, myself, everyone who has ever loved me and everyone who has ever rejected me. The only people who make me feel good is a few select friends who actually care.
I am forced here on my floor right now, with no desk to type and no bed to sleep on. I am paying moneyt simply to live in a box that doesnt even supply me with a window. I have no book shelf. No type of decor. Walls are just walls snd my floor is filled with trash.
Most of this is my fault. But some people could have done things to lessen the problem but over looked my known disadvantages and put me now at even a few more. So Fuck You!!!
current mood:  cranky
current music: Green Day - When September Ends
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 18th, 2005
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1:47 pm - Extra Extra
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I am back! Lets see how long it last though. Well summer is over. I leave back to Flagstaff tomorrow morning. I am excited but a little scared and stressed out about it as well. I dunno.
I still dont have my car back. But they are sticking to getting it done by the end of this month. There is no telling with these people.
I am no longer with subway. I am hoping for a job at Wells Fargo Bank though. I will wait and see.
This semester I am gonna be way more tight and stingy when it comes to money. No more junk and no more eating out.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
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7:36 pm - Im being sucked in
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Okay okay. So I am offically addicted to reality TV. I have no idea why I am sitting here right now watching Dancing with the Stars. Ahhh! Help me. Wow! That was a good move.
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, June 6th, 2005
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12:22 pm
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Life has been a little exhausting. Between working 50 hours a week and sleeping only 2-4hrs a night I really am having a hard time functioning and getting into some kind of routine. I will get next weeks schedule today and see how that is looking. I keep my head up while I am at work though because the fact of the matter is that I need the money and it will make everything this upcoming school year that much more easy.
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, May 30th, 2005
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12:58 am - Crash - More Than My Favorite Movie
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The trip was worth it either way. I enjoyed Six Flags, tanning at the beach, going to the clubs and everything that happened. I will try to make a longer entry later but for now this is it. For those of you who dont know we got into a decently bad car accident. No one was hurt but my car is non existant for now. Smashed in the front and back. I may never have a RAV4 again.
I dont know what I want anymore . . .
current mood:  exhausted
current music: Kelly Clarkson
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 22nd, 2005
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12:17 pm - Why I Love Tucson (A must read)
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First let me start off with why I hate Tucson. This fucking heat is so awful. It is out of control. It is so shitty that I just don't want to move from my living room until the sun goes down.
Anyways,on to the fun stuff. So last night was a night let me tell you what. It was nights like this that makes my life worth living. I have a reason to laugh my ass off and feel close to people. Haha. It was good seeing some old faces and being around, for the most part, good people.
I stayed home for the earlier part of the day and then headed out to meet up with the boos around 6ish PM or so. After being totally lost on where some usual restaurants were in my home town, I found the others sitting down at a bar at Bumsteds on 4th ave. I met with Kreeds, Brad, Mike, Big Mike, Vela, Matt and our new friend Mark. We rounded up and headed a few long hot blocks to Queer Prom 2005.
Before I go any farther let me just say Mikes hair was the true Prom Queen of the nights. This bitch look like he turned a waffle iron up to about 500* of something and just started crunching. Girl, we got pictures too.
Anyways, we arrive to the entrance to queer prom where we we joined by little Mikey. Suddenly, with out even the words of bipody-bopidy-boo, Cinderella fairy god-mother her self pulled up in her usual heavy set blue gown. You got it, Heather Sellmen! Haha. BIG LEZBO! We gather our $7.50 and entered the gates of hell.
As we walked through the door, and Mike Nana hair blew back from the wind pressure, we found some good, clean, STD free seats and made our selves at home. We made sure that everyone knew it was our home by talking up a storm of shit when the drag performances began. The first one sort of similar to to Rocky Horror on Ice, played my EONS own piece of shit. But the second one, the show stopper in my opinion, was some little, shitty bitch dress in pajamas signing Wonderful by Everclear. Since when is having a toothless boy dressed in his night clothes drag. He jumped in the air a few times and did what I think was a triple axel. Hmmm. Well He must of heard us all laughing and talking shit because shortly afterwords the music turned in some Craft like chant and a spell was being performed I believe. He picked up a feather and stick and started going crazy. Suddenly the doors slammed and this started flying around the room . . . okay that never happened, but that fucking bitch was still crazy. The rest of the performances sucked; including a fat girl doing Lose My Breath, and a toothless Hobo doing some RB shit.
After such shit, we decided it was time for some alcohol. Mike and little Mikey retreated to a local store and hooked in up with some SoCo. We went to brands car and started to drink. I was sober so everyone can sit back.
Once there was some buzzes going one we headed back to Prom to own the dance floor. Now the floor could have been ours if there was some decent music but it never came. Its okay we still enjoyed ourselves by taking Mike behind and lit screen and started fucking him and doing the C walk, not so correctly might I add. All and all . . . I want my money back.
We jumped and I cars and got away from that dump as fast as we could. It was time to go party crashing. So there was a party going on at Joel's. It was Daniel's (Count Chocula to many) birthday party. The original plan was that we were going to buy Brian a huge birthday party hat and say that it was Brian's birthday. But for some reason we decided to be respectful.
The party was huge. Biggest one I have been to at Joel's. I saw a lot of old faces and I really enjoyed most of them. Including Oscar who I normally would hate. Haha. Oh well. There was some new faces there as well, including these two funny ass black bitches who Vela and I decided to adopt as our mothers. Girl, let me tell you! We all found a camera sitting on the kitchen counter and decided to have some fun. We took pictures of our selves, Kreeds ass, Bananas, electric balls, and just a lot of bull shit. It made my stomach hurt from all the laughs. What was even better was when all the the horns and hats were handed out for "Happy Birthday." Ask me about that part. We also sang to some Mariah Carey and did some other ghetto laughs.
On the outdoors patio there was some laughs going on as well. Cameron and Carley joined us at the party and shared in all the glory.
Also Kreeda hit fucking Josh Lettermen in the head with a candy. HAHAHA.
Before the party started to die down around 2 AM or so we headed off to Brian's for some swimming. Mike and Vela and I jumped into my car and blasted some New Spice Girl songs and screamed like morons out the windows. We arrived at the pool with no problems and swam most of the night away. At about 3 AM so old man decided he had reason to yell at Matt for parking on a curves where he had every right now do so. He tried to come over and break up our fun but we were just about ready to leave in the first place. Its okay Matt showed Kreeda and I were his house and car were so were will get our revenge.
Back at Brian's place we played some darts, had a couple more laughs and decided to call it a night!
END SCENE
PS . . . Heather's girlfriend proposed to her last night and she died later that evening when she was hit by a train.
current mood:  chipper
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, May 20th, 2005
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2:36 am - Quickly
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I went to Vegas with Joser and enjoyed it. We all saw Bull Head City and Lake Mead. A lot of Jose Childhood. I'm glad that I got to go. Yah!!
Kelly Clarkson concert was amazing. i didnt care for Dodge thatre though but other then that. great voice, good performer, amazing skirt.
im back home and try to get a routine going. wont get it beingf up this late. im tired.
today we hung out. saw shannon and the girls. 2 of them. me and the boos went to megans for some swimming and advacodo chips. good times.
more updates to come.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, May 16th, 2005
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12:37 am - Call Ms. Cleo for your free reading
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So today Jose and I went to the local Psychic for a reading. We decided to go for the $40 tarot reading and though I must admit, I am still somewhat skeptical, there was somethings that were right on.
Jose got his reading and done first and most of his stuff was very very accurate. Really!
Then it was my turn. Apperently stress seemed to be the biggest enemy I've got. There was somethings that were right on about me but a few things were really off. My family things were not very consistant. She said I had two parental figures and a sister sibling. Hmmm? That wasn't very right now was it? Then the other thing was about my job. She says she saw me getting three new jobs within the next eight months but I really do not see that happening. She said something about headaches, which I really dont ever get. And there was also something about me not finishing school because bigger and better things would be offered to me. I dunno.
She said that would not die until I was at least 92. She said that if I kept myself stress free and stay calm and collected that I would have little or no mental or health promblems. But that I should keep stress free because of high blood pressure and blood flow. Hmmm. She said the current relationship I am is was good and that I should have fun but that it is not my life partner. In about three and a half years I will meet two people. They will both be the same age and they will both be very simalar in everything. However, one will be good and the other will be bad. She said I should feel out both and then decide very carefully.
She said I am a city boy trapped in a small town and that it is not where I belong. She said I will succeed in whatever goal and am trying for. Wherever I am living at age 26 will be where I will spend the rest of my life.
There was a lot about me being stressed out though. She said that lately I have felt a little trapped because my routine has been broken. Which is very true. She said I need to take a day to myself once a week and just be stress free and relax. She mentioned that pretty much since Dec. 2003 I have been a different person and though I really want to get back there it will be impossiable and I should stop trying to. She said I havnt made very many friends this past year which was very unlike me, that I am the type of person who usually makes friends much more often and that for some reason I have started caring what people think about me and that I really need to stop.
I dunno. I guess we will just have to wait and see.
current mood: optimistic
current music: Wicked / Wallflowers
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 7th, 2005
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1:05 pm - AMAZING, AMAZING, AMAZING
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So I found out that "Crash" was playing at the mall last night and Jose and I woke up at 9:00am this morning to go see it. It may seriously and honestly be the best movie I have ever seen. It wasn't largely publisized but it is really fucking good. One of the only movies that is worth every bit of the money you pay and the time you take. Please go see this movie. It really makes you think.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/crash/
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, May 6th, 2005
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11:15 am - The Clock is Ticking
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It is the last Friday. AMEN!!! I am done with classes for the day but have a little but of stuff to work on between now and Monday. I want to try and get a little bit ahead this weekend so there will be less things to worry about the night before things are due. I have to read another 67 pages of my script and still write and 5+ page paper on it. Also I need to do a poster for it too. Piff. Then I have a math test on Monday morning which I have a study group for on Sunday night from 5-7. Then finally I need to memorize 2 monologues for Acting 1. My last day of class is Wednesday.
Today is also my last Friday of work in Flagstaff until late July or early August. I got a raise yesterday too. Finally!!! I am now getting paid $7.50 an hour. That means if I were to work and 80hours check I would be getting paid $80 more then I was before. Yah!! My last day of work is Monday night and it is a short 4-8 shift. Thank god I am not closing at all this week.
Season finals of Lost, American Idol, The Amazing Race, Desperate Housewives, and the Apprentice are all happening with in the next 3 weeks as well.
There is only one week from Monday until the Kelly Clarkson concert and just 3 weeks from yesterday until the Magic Mountain Trip. Everyone is almost paid up. Vanessa owes me 60 bucks still and Shilah owes me 40. I should be getting a check from my dad soon and a deposit from my grandma for storage. I hope she gives me a lot. Also work pays me today too but most of that is going straight to my car payment.
End Scene.
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 5th, 2005
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2:08 am
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| Sunday, May 1st, 2005
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9:11 pm - Only Tuesdays and Thursdays - Only Liberal Studies
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AST 180
Cls#:
3086 1 Lecture INTRODUCTION TO ASTRONOMY Letter 3.00 Enrolled
12:45PM 2:00PM 08/29/2005 12/16/2005
Tues,Thurs Wettaw 130
Campus: Flagstaff Mountain Campus Location: Flagstaff Mountain Office
Instructor:
Barlow,Nadine
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COM 101
Cls#:
4252 3 Lecture COMMUNICATION ANALYSIS Letter 3.00 Enrolled
4:00PM 5:15PM 08/29/2005 12/16/2005
Tues,Thurs Communication 119
Campus: Flagstaff Mountain Campus Location: Flagstaff Mountain Office
Instructor:
Gorman,Sharon Elizabeth
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PSY 101
Cls#:
4571 1 Lecture INTRODUCTION TO PSYCHOLOGY Letter 3.00 Enrolled
9:35AM 10:50AM Location: TBA 08/29/2005 12/16/2005
Tues,Thurs
Campus: Flagstaff Mountain Campus Location: Flagstaff Mountain Office
Instructor:
Miller,Michelle
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SOC 101
Cls#:
4714 5 Lecture INTRODUCTION TO SOCIOLOGY Letter 3.00 Enrolled
2:20PM 3:35PM Location: TBA 08/29/2005 12/16/2005
Tues,Thurs
Campus: Flagstaff Mountain Campus Location: Flagstaff Mountain Office
Instructor:
Reed,James S
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SST 191
Cls#:
5798 1 Lecture COM DISORDERS IN LIT AND MEDIA Letter 3.00 Enrolled
8:00AM 9:15AM 08/29/2005 12/16/2005
Tues,Thurs Health Professions 101
Campus: Flagstaff Mountain Campus Location: Flagstaff Mountain Office
Instructor:
Tanner,Dennis C
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TH 101
Cls#:
1714 1 Lecture INTRODUCTION TO THE THEATRE Letter 3.00 Enrolled
11:10AM 12:25PM 08/29/2005 12/16/2005
Tues,Thurs Liberal Arts 135
Campus: Flagstaff Mountain Campus Location: Flagstaff Mountain Office
Instructor:
Winterhalter Lofstrand,Darby Sue
current music: I surrender - Celine
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8:49 pm - My View
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Okay there has been this whole crazy war going on a this is how I feel about it. GROW THE FUCK UP!!!! No one has been talking shit or making groups or any of this god damn bull shit. Kaleb took people of his friends list because he had something to prove. If the purpose was to simply cut down the list for people who "make comments and care" then explain to me why such people like Jacob are still on there. Uh huh. For me it was like a slap in the face. So why should I allow someone into my room who apparently doesnt even like me?
Oh and for the record, anyone I want to come into my room is more then allowed into my room. Why? Because the only reason Miles says no is because he wants to be childish and refuse to see the whole picture. You dont have anything against Jose, I have something agaist Kaleb. If Jose was an asshole to you and you had reasonable reason to not want him in the room then I would understand.
Kaleb: No one has talked shit about you. We have how ever discussed you many times. We all crae about you and it is painful for all of us to watch you ruin your life the way you have been. Wake up! Look at the pattern. You drop out of school. You cant pay your rent. You throw your money down the drain. We all hear and see you struggle with shit (most of it finanaces) and you continue to not realize what you are doing wrong. You watse money on tatoos(cheap or not), buying clothes, movies, fast food, etc. If you stopped buying all that junkk for just 1-3 months and saved all the money you had coming in you could probley be at a place in your life where you were at least comfortable.
I have nothing else to say.
current music: Wallflowers - One Headlight
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8:46 pm - Me Me Me
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Your Birthdate: March 22 |
While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings.
You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion.
Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings.
Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma.
An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail.
You are very aware and intuitive.
You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension. |
current music: Wild Horses
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
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12:42 am - Its been a while
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I really want to get back in the habit of updating more often. I have been working a lot lately and being consumed with work and stuff. I am going to try and update ya'll on everything recent.
I saw Amityville Horror and I really thought it rocked. Very Impressed.
I am with Jose and loving it.
We had our faux prom this past weekened for Jana's sister. It was a lot of fun.
"A Walk in the Clouds"
I'm broke.
Brian and Victor did drag this weekend. I'm proud.
I miss Vela.
I did my scene for Shilah today and think it went pretty good.
current music: Independance Day - Carrie Underwood
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
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2:02 am - The Best Idol Ever!!! (Sorry Kelly, You still my Girl)
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amcsfan's journal
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